Heero's Blonde Day
by Callisto Nicol
Summary: Heero's having a blonde day. Need I say more?


Rating:  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own Gundam Wing. If I did, do you honestly think I'd sit here and write fan fictions?  
  
Author's Note: This is ALL for Celeste. *grin* You're going to hate me after you read it.but that's okay. *shirks* Now I'm waiting for my own bashing.read and e-mail me!  
  
HEERO'S BLONDE DAY  
  
It all started out innocently enough. He forgot to button his pants, and then put the milk in the pantry and the cereal in the fridge. Nothing too bad.or so he thought. Things were only getting started.  
  
After a breakfast of raisin bran (and a few squished flies.) Heero went outside to jump on the trampoline he was borrowing courtesy of Trowa. Only, much to his dismay, Heero realized he was still wearing Relena's pink fuzzy slippers, and pink fuzzy bathrobe. Much to OUR dismay, he took them both off and jumped in his birthday suit. Unfortunately for our darling Heero, a dog just happened to stray into his yard and thought it saw a hot dog.but that's another story all together!  
  
At about ten o'clock that morning, Heero got a phone call from Duo, inviting him to go to the mall with him and Relena. And that's where our story really begins.  
  
**  
  
"So, where do you guys wanna go first?" Duo asked cheerfully, swinging his arms in big, wide circles.  
  
"Um, I don't know," Relena said. "Wherever you guys want to go." As she said this, they just happened to be passing Sam Goody.  
  
"OH MY GOSH LOOK IT'S THE BRAND NEW BARNEY DVD!" Heero shrieked, running to the display stand. "I don't have this one yet-and LOOK, it's the new SINGALONG! I love you, you love me,"  
  
"Heero, you're scaring me," Duo said, backing away slowly. Relena quickly followed suit.  
  
"We're a happy family! With a great big-AAH!"  
  
"Heero, what's wrong?" Duo asked, suddenly worried.  
  
"IT'S THE NEW POWER RANGERS MOVIE!" Heero shrieked in more happiness. Duo tipped over.  
  
Much to the dismay of Relena and Duo, Heero bought his two new DVDs.and thoroughly scared them. After that, though, they walked into K.B. Toys where Duo picked up a Barbie. "Ooh, look at this, Heero-its Sparkle and Shine Barbie!"  
  
"Lemme have it!" Heero snapped. "I don't have that Barbie yet!"  
  
"Heero, you don't have any Barbie's," Relena said, eyes going wide.  
  
"Ooh, that was a stupid thing to say," Duo snapped. He was quickly proved right.  
  
"You're right, Relena, I don't have any Barbie's!" Heero said suddenly. "That means.I'll take this one, and this one, and that Teresa, and then that Kelly, heck, I'll take all the Kelly's and all the Ken's and all the Barbie's and Teresa's!"  
  
"Ack," Duo and Relena said as one, tipping over.  
  
"I can't believe I'm in love with a guy who likes Barbie's, Power Rangers, and Barney!" Relena muttered.  
  
"No kidding," Duo muttered in response.  
  
"Did you two say something?" Heero asked from the checkout counter.  
  
"Nothing!" They lied together, falsely cheery.  
  
"Wow, I'm starved!" Duo announced. "Let's go grab a donut or something!"  
  
"Wonderful idea!" Relena squealed, dragging them to a nearby Krispy Kreme store. "I'll have one jelly-filled donut, please."  
  
"What flavor?" the person asked. Relena just gaped at the idiot.  
  
"She said a JELLY-FLAVORED donut, you dipstick," Duo snapped. "I'll have one too."  
  
"Me too," piped in a Barbie-happy Heero.  
  
So they were served three jelly-filled donuts. Of course, this being a Heero-bashing, obviously it can't go right. Well, as you may have suspected, Heero is allergic to jelly-filled donuts, and he forgot it.  
  
"OH my GOSH, Heero, you're swelling like a balloon!" Relena screeched. "And you're turning PURPLE! AAAHHHH!!!! HELP!"  
  
"Cool!" Duo cried, pushing the bloated Heero around. "Let's play 'punching bag'!"  
  
"How about NOT!?" Heero cried in panic. "SOMEBODY POP ME WITH A PIN, HURRY, BEFORE I IMPLODE!"  
  
"Hey, you asked for it!" Duo cried out happily. He pulled a random pin out of his hair and was about to pop Heero when-  
  
"DuoIdon'twantapinthat'sbeenusedtogivetattoosorhasbeenwithyouwhenyouandHilde doyourthingoranythingelseOFTHATSORT!!!" Heero cried in agony.  
  
"Party pooper," Duo muttered, pulling out a clean pin.  
  
"Just do it!" Relena shrieked. "I can't be in love with a blimp!"  
  
"NO KIDDING! ARG!" Heero cried, getting swallowed up by his fat.  
  
*Pop*  
  
"There, all better now!" Duo grinned. Heero deflated and lay on the floor gulping in air.  
  
"Okay, you two have had your fun, I want a new outfit," Relena pouted.  
  
"Okaylet'sgo," Heero said hurriedly.  
  
"Heero? Are you feeling okay?" Duo asked. "Shopping with a girl while she's looking for clothes?!"  
  
"Duo, trust me on this one," Heero said out of the side of his mouth. "You don't want Relena mad at you."  
  
"Ah. Gotcha."  
  
Half an hour later, they emerged from some name-brand shopping place, Relena wearing her new outfit, and the two guys just looking exhausted.  
  
"Let's get some ice cream," Duo suggested. So together they skipped merrily over to Dairy Queen where they each bought a double-decked ice cream cone. Of course, Heero just had to mess things up when he tripped over his own feet, knocked into Duo and splattered Relena with his ice cream.  
  
"HEERO YUY YOU JUST GOT ICE CREAM ALL OVER MY NEW FORTY-DOLLAR SHIRT!!!! YOU CAN PAY FOR THIS!!!"  
  
"Ugh," Heero groaned. His face was dripping with ice cream. "How about I pay for it later and right now we just find a bathroom so I can clean up?"  
  
"Good idea," Duo said, dragging the two of them to the only bathroom in the mall. Once they arrived, Heero just sat down and cried. On the door to the restrooms a sign read: "Out of Order due to a problem with the water pipelines."  
  
"Hey, it's okay, Heero," Duo said, trying not to touch the crying baby. "You'll live, I promise."  
  
"No I won't!" Heero sobbed. "I have to go pee as well!"  
  
"Okay, now that was just TOO much information!" Duo said, stepping back a few paces.  
  
"I wanna go home!" Heero cried, sniffling.  
  
In a baby voice, Relena replied, "Aw, de widdle Heero wants do go home. Das otay, baby, we'll take you home right now."  
  
"Thank you, Mommy," Heero cried. Relena stepped back a step.  
  
"Duo, you take him home."  
  
"On my way, Major Miss!" Duo picked up the crying Heero and took him home. Heero walked in the front door of his house and headed straight for the bathroom, courtesy of Duo's insane driving. Of course, this being a bashing, Heero didn't make it to the bathroom and had to suffice with his baby blanket instead.  
  
"Okay, Heero, I think you need to sleep for a year, then come back and let us know what happened to the real you," Duo said, quickly walking out the front door. "See ya later, Monotone-ater!"  
  
"DORK!" Heero yelled after him, tripping over his pile of Barbie's.  
  
And thus ended the long and terrible day for Heero, for he hit his head on the floor after tripping, and it knocked him out.  
  
Aah, stupid, neh? But hey, an author's gonna write what an author's gonna write! E-mail me, I don't care if it's constructive criticism or if it's flaming! Oh, and, Celeste? Should you feel so inspired to write a Quatre- bashing for me.don't be too mean! 


End file.
